I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

I succeeded by saying what everyone else is thinking.

You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.

Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.