Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.
You’re going to get what I think is the truth, and it’s going to be raw.
I hate McDonald's. I don't want to order my dinner by yelling into a clown's mouth. If I want my face in a clown's mouth, I'll tongue kiss Glenn Beck.
[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.
Life is a movie, and you're the star. Give it a happy ending.
Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.