I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.

Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.

moving on is a gift you give yourself.

In every human endeavor, persistence is everything.

My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.