Elizabeth Taylor's so fat she puts mayonnaise on aspirin.

Your anger can be 49 percent and your comedy 51 percent, and you're okay. If the anger is 51 percent, the comedy is gone.

I hate housework! You make the beds, you do the dishes and six months later you have to start all over again.

I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

Happiness, at my age, is breathing