Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.

I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.

I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.