Anger is a symptom, a way of cloaking and expressing feelings too awful to experience directly - hurt, bitterness, grief and, most of all, fear.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

If you're not a wreck in this business, you're not around.

I said Justin Bieber looked like a little lesbian -- and I stand by it: He's the daughter Cher wishes she'd had.

"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.