I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.

There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.