My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
The ideal beauty is a fugitive which is never found.
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
Omaha is a little like Newark, without Newark's glamour.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.