I've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done.
The people voting for the Oscars are so old. I haven't seen one Academy award voter with a tampon in her purse.
I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.
Just remember: Surviving is the best revenge, no matter what the disaster has been.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
Florida wants to change the state's motto to attract younger people. They're thinking about: More than just a great place to die.