You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

I was getting dressed and a peeping tom looked in the window, took a look and pulled down the shade.

The Palestinians cannot throw rockets and expect people not to defend themselves

My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed and put one thing on.

The thing is, I'm happiest when I'm on stage.

I wish I could tell you it gets better. It doesn't get better. YOU get better.