I don't think I'm good in bed. My husband never said anything, but after we made love he'd take a piece of chalk and outline my body.
Joan RiversYou know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
Joan RiversAnyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.
Joan RiversI've learned: When you get older, who cares? I don't mince words, I don't hold back. What are you gonna do to me? Fire me? It's been done. Threaten to commit suicide? Done. Take away my show? Done! Not invite to me to the Vanity Fair party? I've never been invited! If I ever saw the invitation, I'd use it as toilet paper.
Joan Rivers