I saw what's going on under my chin. I don't want to be the one the President has to pardon on Thanksgiving.

I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.

I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny. And when you're very, very happy, you're not very funny. You're just happy. I'd rather be damaged and funny.

Thank God we're living in a country where the sky's the limit, the stores are open late and you can shop in bed thanks to television.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.