Comedy exists to laugh at things that aren't laughable. But isn't it? That's what separates us from the animals. We laugh.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

Acting is my true love. I would like to have been a serious actor, and I plan to in the next life. I'm gonna be Meryl Streep Rivers.

Show business can be an addiction. ... An audience would laugh at me one night, and I would chase that high for another three months.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

Why should a woman cook? So her husband can say 'My wife makes a delicious cake' to some hooker?

Never floss a stranger.