Put me up against Sarah Silverman and I could take her.
She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Now, I'm not against sex before marriage, but two minutes before? When the organist played "Here Comes the Bride".
The glass is always half empty. All good comedians are manic-depressive.