Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.

My daughter refuses to call me mother in public; my little grandson calls me Spongeslob Squarebottom, and nobody else ever calls me at all.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

My mother told me 'man on top, woman underneath.' For years my husband & I slept in bunk beds.

Why should I cook for my husband? So he can tell a hooker I make a delicious cake?

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."