Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

Better laid than never.

I think we all in comedi business, especially when we reach a certain age, are divas up to a point. I love when a limousine comes for me, I can't lie about that. I love when you go to a restaurant and they say, "Come this way, Miss Rivers," and you get a good table. I love all that, the perks that come with the business.

I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays

The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you're acting; listen only to yourself.

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

If two people want to get married, get married! The Victorians had a great saying: As long as it doesn't scare the horses, do what you want. And I absolutely believe that.