My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."
I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.
There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.
Having a baby is definitely a labor of love.
Don't tell your kids you had an easy birth or they won't respect you. For years I used to wake up my daughter and say, 'Melissa you ripped me to shreds. Now go back to sleep.'.