Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.

With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

Grandchildren can be annoying - how many times can you go: "And the cow goes moo and the pig goes oink"? It's like talking to a supermodel.

I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.