Self-pity shortens your life.
I have flabby thighs, but fortunately my stomach covers them.
Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.
Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!
You know you're getting old when you buy a sexy sheer nightgown and don't know anyone who can see through it.
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.