With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

Never floss with a stranger.

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.

Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.