I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!

I can't wear yellow anymore. It's too matchy-matchy with my catheter.

I must admit I am nervous about getting Alzheimer's. Once it hits, I might tell my best joke and never know it.

Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.