Age - it's the one mountain you can't overcome.
I hate thin people; 'Oh, does the tampon make me look fat?'
I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.
It's so long since I've had sex I've forgotten who ties up who.
Yeah, I read history. But it doesn't make you nice. Hitler read history, too.
I was dating a transvestite, and my mother said, "Marry him, you'll double your wardrobe."