It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

Trust your husband, adore your husband, and get as much as you can in your own name.

I think we all in comedi business, especially when we reach a certain age, are divas up to a point. I love when a limousine comes for me, I can't lie about that. I love when you go to a restaurant and they say, "Come this way, Miss Rivers," and you get a good table. I love all that, the perks that come with the business.

keep moving. It's hard for old age to hit a moving target.

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.