Victoria Beckham is so nasty, why doesn't she just go home?! Her dresses are beautiful, but I don't care what she does. She's mean to all the people around her. She's too short to be a diva. We all use the same hairdressers, make-up artists, limo-drivers and greeters at the airports in LA and nobody has anything nice to say about her. They say she's rude. She can't always just be having a bad day.

One of the most rebellious things a woman can do is allow people to think she’s mean.

We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.

I got a waterbed, but my husband stocked it with trout.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.