If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.
I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!
I want to be buried in a Valentino gown and I want Harry Winston to make me a toe tag.
I don't think there'd be a Tina Fey now if I hadn't tried to look good in the beginning.
People are arguing whether Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" is anti-semitic. Well, whether it is or it isn't, it doesn't matter, because I've been in touch with his accounting firm, Rosencrantz, Levy and Stern, and they're screwing him out of his profits.
I said to my husband, 'my boobs have gone, my stomach's gone, say something nice about my legs.' He said, 'Blue goes with everything.'