I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

I was my own buddy in camp.

I am a dyke! And I'm damn proud of it!

I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!

I could be the Greta Garbo of comedy, very secluded, but Garbo had a man who was beyond rich to support her.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.