I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.

Never buy a fur from a vegetarian.

Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.