Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.
If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others
I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
The first rule of survival is: Make your own rules. The hell anyone thinks about the way you're acting; listen only to yourself.
I think anyone who's perfectly happy isn't particularly funny.
You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.