Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

Every time I get on an airplane I figure it's gonna get blown up. You live on the edge.

I think we obviously need health care. Of course we need health care, but I think that it's gone too far the other way, and I don't understand it. It's gotten so complicated. The minute they made a deal with the drug companies, you know something isn't kosher here.

My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

Gay marriage, I am so against it because if all my gay friends get married, it will cost me a fortune in gifts.

you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.

When you first get married, they open the car door for you. Eighteen years now...once he opened the car door for me in the last four years - we were on the freeway at the time.