Two is company; three is fifty bucks.

Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

Nothing is yours permanently so you better enjoy it while it's happening.

My grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.

moving on is a gift you give yourself.

Whatever you do to recover from a loss, people will be critical because they believe that the only way to recover is their way. And you will even run into some people who should be run into by rhinos because they actually don't want to see you get over your tragedy at all; grief is a spectator sport for them.