Never floss with a stranger.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.

The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.

I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.