I'm sure some of you are wondering whether my breasts are real. Let me just explain to you. This one is, this one isn't.
Joan RiversComediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.
Joan RiversI've learned to have absolutely no regrets about any jokes I've ever done. You can tune me out, you can click me off, it's OK. I am not going to bow to political correctness.
Joan RiversA child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.
Joan Rivers