God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

I love Israel for its blue and white flag as it matches my legs.

Girls just want to have fun. Well, so do old ladies!

My routines come out of total unhappiness. My audiences are my group therapy.

I have no sex appeal, which kills me. The only way I can ever hear heavy breathing from my husband's side of the bed is when he's having an asthma attack.

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.

After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.