Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.

Life goes by fast. Enjoy it...Everyone gets so upset about the wrong things.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.

I said to my husband, 'Why don't you call out my name when we're making love?' He said, 'I don't want to wake you up.'

I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.

My sex life is so bad, my G-spot has been declared a historical landmark.