Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

[When told that her grandchild had her nose:] I didn't get this nose until I was thirty-four.

I'll lie still for a lot of things - but sex isn't one of them.

I was the last girl in Larchmont, NY to get married. My mother had a sign up: "Last Girl Before Freeway."

Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.