Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

I was born in 1962, and the room next to me was 1963.

I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays

God always comes up with a third act twist -- and we won't know until we die whether the play was a comedy or a tragedy.

I enjoy life when things are happening. I don't care if it's good things or bad things. That means you're alive.

I think actual death will be a lot easier than dying on stage. Cause - you know - if you do [actual death] right, you can go looking good. Maybe with a little quip [like]: 'I loved everybody.' But dying on stage...Oh, God!