If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.

Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.

I wish I had a twin, so I could know what I'd look like without plastic surgery.

Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.

I always like a charity with people who don't speak English because I get them to do all kinds of things around my house.

In life the only thing that you can expect is the unexpected; the only surprise is a day that has none.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.