If you're saying the same line 10 times and making it look like you just came up with it, that's acting.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

I think I've lost 3lbs - I'm very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa.

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

Edgar had a heart attack, and I'm to blame. We were making love, and I took the bag off my head.

I was not an attractive child. When I didn't use my Girl Scouts uniform as a uniform, I used it as a tent.