I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
Last night I asked my husband, 'What's your favorite sexual position?' and he said, 'Next door.'
Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.