I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to 'ripley's believe it or not' - they sent it back and said, "we don't believe it."

Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'

Some women take up the law and become lawyers. Other women lay down the law and become wives.

Comediennes are the lucky ones, because if you're funny, you can be 125 years old and they will still accept you.

I started my career in a town so small the local clinic was called Fred's Hospital and Grill.

I was my own buddy in camp.

Travel is the excitement of life! Everything is an adventure, and if you look at it like that, even at the worst moment you can say: 'We will laugh tomorrow about this.' And you do.