Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

I think I've lost 3lbs - I'm very, very happy. I thought of it as work and a spa.

All Angelina Jolie wants to do is do good for people. And she was saying to me: If I could just make one person happy, Joan, I'll die satisfied. I said: Easy! Just give Jennifer Aniston back her husband.

I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

I adore my apartment in New York. It was a ballroom that I remade, so it's like a loft but done by Louis the Fifteenth.

I'm telling you that at eight she knew more about reproduction than Xerox.