She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

I wear the midi because I feel if you're going to look ugly, you may as well look this year's ugly.

Elizabeth Taylor has more chins than the Chinese telephone directory.

I have so little sex appeal that my gynecologist calls me "sir."

I'm so fat and I'm so depressed; last night I tried to hang myself - but the rope broke.

Is Elizabeth Taylor fat? Her favorite food is seconds.

The first time I see a jogger smiling, I'll consider it.