Diets, like clothes, should be tailored to you.
The only way I can get a man to touch me at this age is plastic surgery.
My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.
I finally found out how priests get holy water. They boil the hell out of it.
Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.