My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.

I have to tell you that it's not going to be easy. Take every chance and every opportunity that you can. Don't say 'I can't' or 'I shouldn't' or 'I'm too tired.'

You're college graduates now, so use your education. Remember: It's not who you know, it's whom.

I have no sex appeal. If my husband didn't toss and turn, we'd never have had any kids.

And since we're all adults here, let's be brutally honest-most babies are not actually attractive. In fact, they're weird and freakish looking. A large percentage of them are squinty-eyed and bald and their faces are all mushed toegther, kind of like Renee Zellweger pushed up against a glass window.

A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."

Everyone thinks Angelina Jolie was the first celebrity baby hoarder, but she wasn't. Before Angelina there was Mia Farrow. Mia had an entire farm full of children. I think she got them at Costco.