With this face, I need all the deals I can get.

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'

Valentine's Day is different for old people. At this age I receive chocolates in boxes shaped like artificial hearts.

Money can't buy you happiness but it can pay for the plastic surgery.

Emotional troubles are like landfill. Get them outside, and the air disintegrates them.

I've always hate child stars, starting from way back when, when I was a child. The first child star I saw was Shirley Temple. She was six years old, two foot six and the biggest star in Hollywood. She wore ribbons in her hair, and frilly little pinafores and shiny patent-leather tap shoes - just like the boys in Glee do.

I think it's time they knew the truth about Beethoven.