Does fashion matter? Always - though not quite as much after death.

A child can be taught not to do certain things, such as touch a hot stove, pull lamps off of tables, and wake Mommy before noon.

Don't cook. Don't clean. No man will ever make love to a woman because she waxed the linoleum.

It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.

I use a smoke alarm as a timer.

Never floss a stranger.