I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

With this face, I need all the deals I can get.

A woman went to a plastic surgeon and asked him to make her like Bo Derek. He gave her a lobotomy.

That girl had a great way of making friends, and strangers, and anyone else who was around.

The nice thing about Viagra is that they are proving men can go blind on it, so you can gain weight and have a great sex life.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.