I have no sex appeal and it has screwed me up for life; my gynecologist examines me by telephone.
With age comes wisdom. You don't need big boobs to be feminine. Look at Liberace.
to maintain success, stamina is more important than talent. You have to learn to be a marathon runner.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.
Never admit that your back goes out more than you do
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.