Our natures are a lot like oil, mix us with anything else, and we strive to swim on top.
Joan RiversYou know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
Joan RiversThe last time I appeared in Las Vegas, they were wearing hoop skirts and Davy Crockett hats, ... But they say 'What happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas.' And as far as fashion is concerned, that's a good thing.
Joan RiversMy grandson is mad at me. He's mad at me because I squandered his college fund on Spanx. It's a lot, but there's a lot going on here.
Joan Rivers