My obstetrician was so dumb that when I gave birth he forgot to cut the cord. For a year that kid followed me everywhere. It was like having a dog on a leash.

I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

My sex life has gone from bad to pathetic. My G spot stands for godforsaken.

All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.

I've learned from doing my own show with Fox that people are not your partners if they're signing the checks. Whoever signs your paycheck is the boss - no matter what they tell you.

At my age an affair of the heart is a bypass!