How to fool yourself into feeling younger: When you go to restaurants, always check a coat and a skateboard.
Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.
Self-pity shortens your life.
You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.
I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.
Everyone takes fashion so seriously! It's fashion - enjoy it!