Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.

When you can laugh at yourself no one can ever make a fool of you.

Women should look good. Work on yourselves. Education? I spit on education. No man is ever going to put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.

I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.

My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed and put one thing on.

I told my mother-in-law that my house was her house, and she said, 'Get the hell off my property.'

Never admit that your back goes out more than you do