"I wouldn't go over here to Lisa Rinna and I would say 'Are those breasts real, are you wearing underwear?'"
If you can't make fun of yourself, you don't have any right to make fun of others
Before we make love, my husband takes a pain killer.
you have to do more than just kill time or time will quickly kill you.
At my funeral, I want Meryl Streep crying in five different accents.
That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.