I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.

I now consider it a good day when I don't step on my boobs.

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

Elizabeth Taylor was so fat that whenever she went to London in a red dress, 30 passengers would try to board her.

All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

She doesn't understand the concept of Roman numerals. She thought we just fought in world war eleven.

I have a wonderful psychiatrist that I see maybe once a year, because I don't need it. It all comes out onstage.