I use a smoke alarm as a timer.
Every television show you go on is a choice.
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Comedy - and I say this with humility - comedy needs me.
My love life is like a piece of Swiss cheese; most of it's missing, and what's there stinks.
I'm in nobody's circle, I've always been an outsider.