I lived to be on stage, and I'm terrified. Terrified before every show.

I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.

People are arguing whether Mel Gibson's "Passion of the Christ" is anti-semitic. Well, whether it is or it isn't, it doesn't matter, because I've been in touch with his accounting firm, Rosencrantz, Levy and Stern, and they're screwing him out of his profits.

The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

With this face, I need all the deals I can get.

Anyone that says looks don't count is lying. Of course they do. Even babies go to the attractive face. It's the way humans work.

She's so hairy - when she lifted up her arm I thought it was Tina Turner in her armpit.