I like colonic irrigation because sometimes you find old jewelry.
I knew I was an unwanted baby when I saw that my bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
My personal style is over-the-top dowager. The old days they said get dressed and take one thing off, I say get dressed and put one thing on.
You know why I feel older? I went to buy sexy underwear and they automatically gift wrapped it.
It's been so long since I made love, I can't even remember who gets tied up.
Maybe I'm old-fashioned, but I believe when a woman enters a room, men should stand up - and gay men should stand up at least halfway.