Life goes by fast. Enjoy it. Calm down. It's all funny.
She's so fat, she's my two best friends.
I'm a double bagger. Not only does my husband put a bag over my face when we're making love, but he also puts a bag over his head in case mine falls off.
Anyone that says looks don't count is lying.
Oprah Winfrey is so powerful that she had the Rapture postponed until after her final show airs.
I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”