A female salmon lays three thousand eggs a year - and has yet to receive a Mother's Day card from one of them.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

The worst thing that ever happened to me on stage is someone ran forward to tell me they loved me and projectile vomited all over the stage. It was horrible.

They almost had to cancel the Oscars tonight because all of the designers and stylists are still in line in San Francisco trying to marry one another.

The fashion magazines are suggesting that women wear clothes that are 'age appropriate.' For me that would be a shroud.

I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

Emotional troubles are like landfill. Get them outside, and the air disintegrates them.