I once dated a guy so dumb he could not count to 21 unless he was naked

I have no boobs whatsoever. On my wedding night my husband said, 'Let me help you with those buttons' and I told him, 'I'm completely naked'.

Don't talk to me about gravity. When I get out of bed in the morning, I have to be careful not to step on my breasts.

I've learned from my dealings with Johnny Carson that no matter what kind of friendship you think you have with people you're working with, when the chips are down, it's all about business.

I can't like watching Project Runway with Heidi Klum. There's just something wrong about a German woman saying who goes and who stays

Dogs are easier to love than people; they're certainly more dependable. Once they love you, that's it. A true friend in life is a dog.

The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.