Every time I get on an airplane I figure it's gonna get blown up. You live on the edge.
Never floss with a stranger.
We don't apologize for a joke. We are comics. We are here to make you laugh. If you don't get it, then don't watch us.
Comedy is a very rough beat. It's no holds barred, as it should be.
I will only praise someone who can't take anything away from me.
Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.