All my friends are dying. That's why I always wear black.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

My face has been tucked in more times than a bedsheet at the Holiday Inn.

Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

I'm at the top, top, top of my game now. I'm so happy to be on that stage, I'm in control of it, and I love every minute of it. I walk onstage in rehearsal and I start to smile. And so I just don't care what anyone else is doing. Do what you want, say what you want. Nobody else can do what I do onstage. Nobody.

My daughter and I are very close, we speak every single day and I call her every day and I say the same thing, "pick up, I know you're there."

There is not one female comic who was beautiful as a little girl.