Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Since I met him ten years ago there hasn't been a day that I didn't think of George Burns. And I didn't think of him again today.

Looking 50 is great, if you're 60.

I was so ugly that my parents sent my picture to 'ripley's believe it or not' - they sent it back and said, "we don't believe it."

Comedy is truth. We should not apologize for it.

You know it's time to start using mouthwash when your dentist leaves the room and sends in a canary.

Everyone needs a facelift, except if you are from Brooklyn then you need a nose job !!!