Something terrific will come no matter how dark the present.

Al Roker said I am 80 years 'young'; it's like saying Al Roker is 320 pounds 'thin'.

"I've learned what's funny verbally ain't so funny on e-mail: They don't hear your intonations. Melissa broke up with somebody over that. She tried to tell him: "That was a joke!" But he just didn't get it. Mick Jagger said, "F- 'em if they don't get the joke." And I love him. That comes with age: Knowing it's their problem, not mine."

I think it was Cosby who also said to me, 'If only 2 percent of the world thinks you're funny, you'll still fill stadiums for the rest of your life.'

After we made love he took a piece of chalk and made an outline of my body.

I’ve had so much plastic surgery, when I die they will donate my body to Tupperware.

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.