You know you've reached middle age when you're cautioned to slow down by your doctor, instead of by the police.
Russell Brand has announced that he plans to write a series of children's books. First up: 'Horton Hears a Heroin Dealer.'
On the Vanna White diet, you only eat what you can spell.
Half of all marriages end in divorce- and then there are the really unhappy ones.
No man will ever put his hand up your dress looking for a library card.
My best birth control now is just to leave the lights on.