Want to know why women don't blink during foreplay? Not enough time.

As a wedding gift, Ray J gave Kim Kardashian his profits from their sex tape. It's 'Something Old' as well as 'Something Blew.'

If God wanted us to bend over he'd put diamonds on the floor.

I could never be in a cult. For starters, they never accessorize properly. David Koresh had no fashion sense, Jim Jones wore leisure suits, and I don't care how charismatic Osama bin Laden was, an AK-47 and an insulin drip do not take the place of drop earrings or a well-placed brooch.

I think any celebrity that adopts a child from a third world country is a fool.

I am so out of the loop. I am never honored. My career is hilarious to me. I am either under the radar or over the radar.

That baby is so ugly... I've never seen a six-month-old so desperately in need of a wax.