A Mafia guy in Vegas gave me this advice: "Run your own race, put on your blinders."
Happiness, at my age, is breathing
My mother was a very elegant woman. When a flying saucer landed on the lawn, she turned it over to see if it was Wedgwood.
My breasts are so low, now I can have a mammogram and a pedicure at the same time.
The last time I saw a blonde with red streaks in her hair she was laying on Oscar Pistorius' bathroom floor.
I am not lucky. I am the type who would go to Lourdes and drown in the waters.