I am definitely going to watch the Emmys this year! My makeup team is nominated for “Best Special Effects.”

Mel Gibson's father doesn't think there was a Holocaust? Great. I don't think there's a movie. We're even.

There's always an adjective before my name, and it's never a nice one.

My husband wanted to be cremated. I told him I'd scatter his ashes at Neiman Marcus - that way, I'd visit him every day.

Because I'm the only performer who comes out and says I've had plastic surgery, I've become the plastic surgery poster girl, which is hilarious, because everybody has done it and they all deny it. They stand there, like the Bride of Frankenstein, they've all got stitches, and they all say, 'I've done nothing.' I talk about it.

I'm no cook. When I want lemon on chicken, I spray it with Pledge.

You know you're getting old when work is a lot less fun and fun is a lot more work.