I've been on such a losing streak that if I had been around I would have taken General Custer and given points.

I never went to school beyond the 3rd grade, but my mother taught me the difference between right and wrong.

It doesn't matter whether you are rich or poor - as long as you've got money.

Whenever someone asks me if I want water with my scotch, I say, I'm thirsty, not dirty.

Rooting for the Yankees is like rooting for U.S. Steel.

Adlai Stevenson has a genius for saying the right thing, at the right time, to the wrong people.

I don't drink any more than the man next to me, and the man next to me is Dean Martin.